Emotional Ketchup Burst

What are you, some kind of half-assed astronaut?

2008-01-23T17:34:05Z

Two days ago I found out that Robert Shaw was dead because I watched The Sting and Jaws recently and wondered "Hm, I wonder if he was in anything recently...". So, any other celebrity deaths may take a few years for me to catch on. Aw, Quint. First a killer shark and then cigarettes do you in.

The Guardian crossword had new clues but the boxes were the ones from yesterday. I thought I was losing it for about two minutes. 18 across? There's no 18 across!

Dear Mr./Mrs. Guardian,

Today, I excitedly purchased your newspaper and gleefully sat down with a cup of coffee expecting a fantastic voyage into the world of clues and words. I was unaware of the terror and emotional trauma that lurked on the back page...

Murray Crispass

2007-12-25T14:56:14Z

Hope you're having a good one if you celebrate it. Having a bit of an unconventional one this year. My niece, Charlotte, was born at 7am this morning. Jesus is back! Now to have many vermouths... vermouthes?... vermouthii.

Rubbiiish

2007-11-18T10:08:36Z

Every birthday represents another billion kilometers around the sun.

BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED

"I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time."

2007-10-17T19:57:44Z

Arrived in class today only to discover it had been cancelled. We were told last Friday. I'm pretty good at remembering these things, yes sir. About quarter of the class showed up also. Maybe we're the 'special' group and we get to sit in the corner making Halloween pictures with glitter glue for the next few lectures.

From sexyscholar
Comment on this post. I'll choose seven icons from your profile and you'll explain what they mean and why you use them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal if you want to help others waste time too!

It's from Young Zaphod Plays it Safe by Douglas Adams. As an aside, 'Douglas' is one of my favourite punchlines to those stupid name jokes. I'm only writing that because I have nothing of interest to say about the icon besides "I like Zaphod. He is funny. Ha. Ha..."

From a Something Awful photoshop phriday about children's books. I use it if I'm making a post/replying to something where I mention that I'm Irish. Better than a glittery shamrock, I guess.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks is hilarious. The quote is from S20E04, I think. Oh dear, I'd better watch them all again just to make sure.

Sam & Max Hit the Road was my favourite game. I remember being a bit rubbish at it because I'd get stuck in parts but that was okay because Max kept me entertained with insults and strange words like 'lagomorph'.

I love this book so much. Along with Good Omens, it's one I'll pick up to read when I'm not in the mood for anything else.

“Sure, that’s what I mean,” Doc Daneeka said. “A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
Yossarian knew what he meant.
“That’s not what I mean,” Doc Daneeka said as Yossarian began scratching his back. “I’m talking about cooperation. Favors. You do a favor for me, I’ll do one for you. Get it?”
“Do one for me,” Yossarian requested.
“Not a chance,” Doc Daneeka answered.

This is me in ~~forty~~ twenty years.

Before Darren whatever-his-second-name-is was in the business of making musics, he used to post humourous drawings on his site Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives. And I use it because I like to imagine that I am the secret lovechild of Elton John and my father. No, I don't. That's a horrible thought to have, I'm sorry self.

Potential Husband #34

2007-10-11T20:46:51Z

An old man sat on a wall and watched me sleep today. I was sitting in a car and probably making weird sleep faces. Creepy staring old people and their creepy staring bicycles.

LATER ON THAT DAY: I mentioned it in conversation to my mother and she said "What age was he? There is a MAN in his FORTIES on the LOOSE because he MOLESTED A YOUNG WOMAN. It was in the newspaper!". And thusly it was learned on that fine day in the year Two Thousand and Seven where Nicole got her tendency to overreact from.

The end.

I have no idea what the hell I'm on about, I'm really tired. Okay.

A shining source of vitamins and minerals.

2007-09-30T17:13:20Z

I love browsing Halloween websites. The majority seem to be perpetually trapped in site design circa 1998. Am thinking about being some kind of autopsy-stitched dead person this year. Keeping wounds bloody and fresh is hard work, so I might try green and mouldy for a change.

:3

Comment on this post. I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along. Or just in the comments, w/e.
Interests chosen by meyrevived:

Bruce Campbell:
His movies are cheesy and his commentaries on them are cheesier. He's brilliant.

Charles Bukowski:
I used to 'hate' poetry, I didn't get it and it was all written by nancy 18th century fruits. I was wrong and silly, okay. Bukowski isn't my favourite poet but he got me to stop being an idiot about it. 'It's Ours' and 'Dostoevsky' are probably my favourite poems of his.

New Scientist:
The only magazine I regularly buy. Delicious science and technology stuff and occasional head-trip articles about the brain or existence that make me feel funny for about an hour afterwards

Northern Exposure:
Early nineties television show that I used to love. I kept thinking 'I need to watch this amazing show again' but was afraid it might not be as good as I remembered. But it was and now I need to spend five million euro on the box-sets. Also: Chris Stevens.

Post-apocalyptic Fiction:
Horrible everything-goes-wrong future scenarios scare and fascinate me. I love novels and articles, i.e. here's our current technology, this is what might happen if used, that deal with the subject.
Scary thing from Carl Sagan in Cosmos:

The conventional bombs of World War II were called blockbusters. Filled with twenty tons of TNT, they could destroy a city block. All the bombs dropped on all the cities in World War II amounted to some two million tons, two megatons of TNT -- Coventry and Rotterday, Dresden and Tokyo, all the death that rained from the cities between 1939 and 1945: a hundred thousand blockbusters, two megatons. By the late twentieth century, two megatons was the energy released in the explosion of a single more or less humdrum thermonuclear bomb: one bomb with the destructive force of the Second World War.

Dystopian Fiction:
Fahrenheit 451, 1984 and Brave New World type stories. The human race thinks/is made think that it's part of this amazing utopia. It isn't. Bad things happen.

Richard Feynman:
Nobel prize winner for his work on QED. He was so passionate, humourous and slightly nutty when it came to talking about science and his life in general.

Science!

2007-09-26T21:55:49Z

The guys at the graduate college were used to me looking like an idiot. On one occasion, for example, a guy came into my room -- I had forgotten to lock the door during the "experiment" -- and found me in a chair wearing my heavy sheepskin coat, leaning out of the wide-open window, holding a pot in one hand and stirring with the other. "Don't bother me! Don't bother me!" I said. I was stirring Jell-O and watching it closely: I had gotten curious as to whether Jell-O would coagulate in the cold if you kept it moving all the time.
--Richard Feynman

One day when I get my science wings I'll resurrect him and turn myself into Bette Midler and serenade him. Did you ever knowwwww.....

Dia dhuit agus tar isteach, a mhúinteoir.

2007-09-25T20:33:47Z

So, instead of having a normal timetable this week, I have some crazy 10-4.30 block of nonsense everyday until Thursday. It's painful. More due to the fact that no one told any of us, and then people got annoyed when no one showed up. Computer Science involves mind-reading now I guess. I just find it pointless, since either it's stuff we already did or stuff that we'll be doing in a week fews. It's like being in SMALL school again and it's mean. An bhfuil chead agam dul go dtí an leithreas, más é do thoil é?

I got handed an interesting flyer yesterday. At first glance it looked like some student-related thing. It's titled "101 of the World's Funniest One Liners" and features a bunch of seemingly generic things you'd receive from some saddo in an email and immediately delete. Hilarious stuff like "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it". And then 21 comes along and says simply "Nuke the whales". I'm.. not finding the humour in that one. But 15 tells me "He who laughs last thinks slowest", so that's okay.

The rest is secretly a holy God notice, and a very angry one too. It's brilliant. Their site has a reports and encouragement section, I hope I got it from this person:

This is.... from ...... Ireland.

I am planting a fellowship here on the Isle.

We just got the Basic Training kit just yesterday in time for Wednesday night prayer meeting.

We had one brother come over and so we watched the first program (Cultivating..).

We were so excited that we watched the second one (Hell's Best Kept..).

On his way out the door, Ben asked if we could watch the next one after church Sunday!

He was so excited that he wanted to go out evangelizing immediately!

We were amazed with the simplicity and effectiveness of the TWOTM method.

Just a line to say we have just begun to train in the way of the Master.

God bless!

I just finished watching new Heroes, the ending scene made me very giggly.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THE MARINA?

My pie is amazing.

2007-06-19T18:15:51Z

But these words you are now reading, whose are they? Yours or mine? The point of writing is to take charge of the voice in someone else's head. This is what I am doing. My words have taken possession of the language circuits of your brain. I have become, if only transiently, your inner voice. Doesn't that mean, in a certain sense, that I have become you (or you me)? It's a serious question. Written text is a primitive but powerful form of virtual reality. In the beginning was the word.

What is Consciousness? Paul Broks
New Scientist 18/11/06

I love this mood theme. :)

This is a hand not a butt.

2007-06-19T15:24:18Z

Wikipedia is very informative today.

My ovaries are burny so I made blackberry and apple pie. I don't exactly like blackberry and apple pie and I'm not very hungry but I was strangely compelled to bake today. Maybe I will buy a frock tomorrow and put curlers in my hair. Okay.

Anyone who didn't grow up watching this show missed out terribly. You just don't see this quality in children's tv anymore. Uh...

Memoirs of a misspelt youth.

2007-06-17T21:29:36Z

I am an ex-sabatuer. Now I am a small word that exists in the dictionary. I'm feeling strangely dyslexic after using that purged accounts page for ages.

My RAMs are plentiful and delicious.

2007-06-07T14:22:24Z

I have a new laptop that doesn't take ninety years to run programs. This is amazing. I fixed up my old one so I'm giving it to my niece. It'll be fine unless she wants to... do anything besides look at it.

A Livejournal entry on the internet.

2007-06-02T14:14:27Z

I finished my exams finally. My timetable seemed good at the start with them all spaced out over the month but in the end the whole thing just dragged on far too long.

My laptop is behaving sadly right now so I haven't been around much and probably won't be back properly until I buy a new one. I have one picked out but it isn't in stock right now because I read The God Delusion last week so I think I'm being punished (further evidence involved boiling water jumping into my eye and the French Open being on instead of most of this weekend's MotoGP coverage).

MOSTLY I have been hanging out with my crazily pregnant sister. It's scary and amusing. Especially because she rings me up at odd hours to tell me what she's just had to eat.

Last weekend some guy asked my sister's boyfriend for HIS permission to ask ME out. What.
And then put it to me like "I asked Michael was it okay so........"
It got better because he got upset when I declined and he blamed people for putting thoughts into my head and drunkenly stormed off. Bizarre.
Maybe if I'm lucky I'll get to pay a dowry next time. I wonder how many camels I'm worth?

Alcohol and snarking at eurovision is the best.

2007-05-12T22:42:04Z

Oh man, the Ukraine was robbed. Also France. The bald man with the kitty boa and pink shirt running around in circles was amazing. And Sweden! And Romania! How did Serbia beat them?!
Ireland came in last. I think having five points was more than we deserved though. Warbly hippy music. The fact that I got so excited viewing all this means I really need it to be May 30th and free from study...

My math exam was interesting. There was a huge leak in the roof over my table because it was so rainy. I hope the person correcting my paper mistakes the water marks for tear stains and feels sorry for me. The people overseeing the exam call themselves The Invigilators. Mary the Test Minder would be far less formal and more Irish in my opinion.

ffffffffffuck

2007-05-10T18:48:29Z

It isn't like numbers are important anyway.

Animal cruelty and a meme

2007-05-03T20:05:06Z

Tagged by marefrigoris

Rules:
Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little-known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1. Cotton wool makes me feel ill, holding it hurts my teeth and actually having it in my mouth (like at the dentist) is the most horrible thing for me. That new goddamned Lynx 'boom chicka fucking wah' dentist advert gives me a headache. :/

2. The right side of my face and the left side of my nose have faded toothmarks from when a dog went snap-happy on my wee toddler self. Besides the long scar where my neck meets my jaw, they just look like chickenpox scars.

3. When I'm browsing the internet, I mainly use keyboard shortcuts. It started when my mouse broke and I kept forgeting to get a new one. The touchpad is annoying so I began Ctrl, Alt & tabbing it up. Ctrl + Tab is my Firefox bffl.

4. Since I was about eleven (when I went through a phase where I was interested in/terrified of Rasputin), I have this recurring dream every few months where I'm Nicholas II's son, Alexis, on the night when the family was executed.

5. I am unable to suppress the urge to sing Wuthering Heights whenever I hear it. And the wavy dance from the video if I'm alone. Other Kate Bush songs have this effect but nothing as bad as Heeeaaathhhclifff it's meeeeee...

6. When I was five and in my first year of school, the teacher stupidly brought up the idea of hell and thus ended my normal sleep patterns. Since I was unbaptised I used to think the devil was coming to get me and when I was old enough, I used to sneak off on my bicycle up to the local church to secretly baptise myself in the font that was outside. I seriously thought my parents had it in for me by not getting me baptised.

7. I used to think that homosexuality meant having sex at home and I wondered why so many people had issues with it.

8. A sudden fright (like, someone jumping out from behind a door) can make me fall over sideways. Friends and family like to take advantage of this fact when they remember it.

9. Camogie was my favourite sport to play for my school because it was fun being allowed to smack other girls with a stick for an hour. The best girls were the ones who thought it wasn't cool to wear shinguards. I knocked a girl unconscious once, but didn't realise it until my first day of secondary school when our surnames meant we had to sit next to each other. She was, surprisingly!, a bit unfriendly as she turned and said "I remember you...".

10. Most of my childhood pictures feature me crying which leads people to believe that I was a weepy child. Actually, my older siblings went through a phase of teasing me to the point of tears and taking photos. And then saying (while I was crying), "Did you know you can die from crying and laughing at the same time?" and tickling me. Evil!

Okay, I am tagging ten people using my mind! If you think you want to do the meme, it means I am thinking of you. Honest.

And what would a LiveJournal be without pet pictures now and again? Hm?

This steak is delicious. You cannot have a piece, kitty.

Claw in my hand means she wins this round.

Studying for exams.

2007-04-28T21:17:12Z

http://givealovenote.com/ is far too disturbing. I like it!

Jolene!

2007-04-26T13:27:08Z

Okay, I have some exams in a basketball stadium on the opposite side of the city from where my college is located. Wah. I really can't deal with finding my way around new places, especially not early in the morning when my brain is filled with math-related panic. "Please help me. I'm lost and can't find the difficult numbers room..."

I had a dream that this man broke into my house to murder me and my sister.
But instead I ended up falling in love & marrying him. Obviously reading about Stockholm Syndrome on Wikipedia before I went to bed wasn't the best idea.

ETA: I had to link to the creepy picture of my dream husband because he wouldn't stop staring into my very soul. :(

I will yeaaah.

2007-04-06T16:55:53Z

I loved seeing the crowds of people rushing to buy their booze yesterday. One day with closed pubs and mass panic ensues. How will we survive being sober on a Friday? The 'debates' about it on the radio are brilliant.

"We shouldn't ban alcohol on Good Friday because... the Polish people living here might be...sad and confused".
"What about a Good Monday or a Good Tuesday instead?"
"Instead of banning alcohol, how about we ban tractors instead?" That was the best point made. Obviously from a man experiencing severe DTs.

I've been invited to two parties tonight because of it. Damn the man! and all that nonsense. It makes me want to go and have a pray or something just to spite everyone. What about Jesus!? He can't be at your party, can he? Too busy dying for your sins! If only I could say that with a straight face.

It's nice when the old man who lives nearby sits on the hill across from my house with no shirt on and looks in the window to this room. Or appears to be looking in. With no shirt on. Saggy.

Moths

2007-03-08T13:11:40Z

Huh. I'm basically finished school on the 30th of this month. Until exams starting on the 11th of May. This is delicious. Except, I bet I fall asleep for that whole period of time and forget to study. Life would be less interesting without a bit of easily avoidable blind panic now and again. Maybe.

MotoGP is back in my life, starting tomorrow. I can't believe I'm obsessed with a dumb sport but whatever.

Things Other People Accomplished
When They Were Your Age
What a depressing page. I count getting out of bed without grimacing at the fact that it's another day with people and things to be an accomplishment. One day I will achieve this!

At age 23:
Nikki put no effort into anything and drank a lot of coffee.

Sonny & Cher.

2007-03-01T11:12:04Z

The library in my college is amazing. Since I started school in September, they've been doing building work on it. Who needs silence when you have constant drilling & hammering noises? You also get to listen in on builders' conversations. And 1/3 of the times I've been in there, the fire alarm goes off. It's brilliant. But if you forget to put your phone on silent and it rings, you get fined a tenner.

I had my first experience of someone I used to hang around with everyday in school talk to me. Except I couldn't remember who the hell she was. I hope this isn't the beginning of my descent into eventually not being able to recognise my own feet.

Why are people texting me unfunny rugby jokes? England are replacing their rose with a tampon...blah blah worst period in history, tee hee! NO. It isn't funny. My grandfather was mauled to death by a wild tampon.

Am I a spinster yet?

2006-11-18T13:47:46Z

I woke up today and I had a beard and a desire to play bingo.

Here is the party I would like:

I bet I can work out which one's the android before you

2006-11-14T13:54:50Z

I love saying to myself "Well self!, today is THE DAY where you will take the finger out and be responsible and GET THINGS DONE". Unfortunately, somewhere between leaving the house and seeing that the rest of humanity still exists I end up thinking, oh fuck it, it's enough that I got out of bed, you lousy bastards. Basically, I am turning seventeen again for the sixth year running. A self in some parallel universe stole all my responsibility and motivation but I really don't care because nothing exists like doing nothing.

:* ;) :O >:)

Me & my amazing life.

2006-11-07T20:15:39Z

Today I only had about five cups of coffee instead of eating because there was possibly something wrong with my brain, so when I got home I was starved. SO, I ate fish and about a tonne of chili sauce for dinner. It really wasn't the wisest culinary decision for an empty stomach, let me tell you. Oh boy. My insides feel like they're on a spin cycle.

Thank you LJ, I was not aware.

Gammy.

2006-11-05T20:29:08Z

I dropped the goddamned adaptor from my laptop onto tiles earlier this week and thought to my beautiful self "Okay, that's broken". Then promptly forgot all about it because it was running on battery power until it died. SO. I eventually fixed the issue by running around going "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" and then forking out monies for this clump of a thing that makes strange noises and I'm afraid in case it bursts into flame. But my computer is alive again.

The Close-Tab buttons on the individual tabs in the new Firefox are confusing. I keep accidently clicking them. OKAY.